Choosing personality

For those of you who missed joke at the closing of yesterday's post, here's a link to the video: Anoop Dogg - Drop It Like A Fob

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So, as we discussed yesterday, taking things personally is a somewhat odd habit of people. Here's the kicker: we choose to take things personally.

If someone offends us, we do actually choose to be offended. It's not as if you can't just dismiss the comment. No, instead, we identify the verbal attacker, and choose to think of what they're saying as having some sort of validity. Then, we get upset at the offender and take action from there. Honestly, it's really not that hard to just think about the comment.

Thinking about the comment gives us some benefit. We can be cool and calm, and think about the fact that the comment may, in fact, have some validity. We often immediately dismiss comments completely. This is not a bad idea, especially with derisive exclamations of the "f*** you" variety, which though they make the speaker feel better, they offer no sort of content to the argument at all. However, when actual content is provided, we need to sift out the attitude and try to empathize, so we can accurately judge our actions. After all the negative stuff is stripped, we can see if there is any small bit of truth to the comment, and from there we have a way to better ourselves. In this way, every insult (with proper form) can be an opportunity to better ourselves.

From there, if the comment does not have any usefulness to us (say, the person doesn't know you and made an incorrect assumption entirely, or it was of the aforementioned variety), we can dismiss it as insignificant. Why should we accept the insult? After all, so many of us are our own worst critics.

How many people do you know who hate compliments? Polite humility is one thing (and in many ways pointless, but that's a different argument entirely), but I know many people who hate having nice things said to them because they're insecure. They're so unhappy with themselves that they simply cannot accept the compliment as having any truth to it. It's really amusing to me, because I used to be very cynical. I mean, if most people are self-centered and conceited, how is it that so many people prefer to accept insults as truth and compliments as false? It's easy to find self-centered, conceited people. You don't need to see their self-praise to know how they are. On the other hand, it's more difficult to identify self-loathers, unless they take it to a very dire extreme.

Instead of hearing an insult and immediately going with "initial" feelings like hurt and anger, it's more useful to try to stay calm and analyze the insult itself. Just because someone opens their mouth doesn't mean you have to listen to them. It's much harder to do with people who know just what to say to get you pissed off, but really, isn't that a better opportunity to learn to control our responses?

Techno-Spirituality

The thought has crossed my mind that the word "religion" brings up awful connotations for a lot of people. Admittedly, when I think of religion, large institutions with powerful figureheads come to mind. I promptly shudder. But I do feel that in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours, there's some sort of obvious order. We, as humans, have an inclination to come up with a list of things we live by or believe in, whatever they may be. In addition, I feel that we often forget that list in our day-to-day struggles. That's most apparent for me when I'm cursing at the lady in front of me on my way back home to get out of the way.

With vast amounts of information being drilled into our skulls these days, I relish the simple little thoughts I have. One of them is what I dubbed "techno-spirituality." Spirituality, for me, is really about applying my basic personal beliefs in my life so that I live by my own standards. I don't mean thinking "my religion says that everyone who doesn't believe won't go to Heaven," and then going out and trying to convert people. I do mean "don't take things personally" and then when someone yells at me, I try to understand where they're coming from and not take it to heart. If I can't do that, then at least I shouldn't blow up on them in return.

Technology plays a humongous role in my life, as it does in the lives of everyone I know (save my grandmothers'). Despite interacting with machines all day, I find little trouble in retaining my humanity. I have applied my spirituality to my technology. I can't say the same for some of those around me, who despite having much in the way of technology, lack some integral things in real life. Randall Monroe once did a comic (can't find the link atm) wherein a person on a computer, pissed off at someone, was magically flown to the other end of the pipe. Once he saw that the object on the other side was human being, he stopped being so angry. Along the same lines, one of the Microsoft "I'm a PC" commercials features Deepak Chopra, saying "... and I'm a human being. Not a human doing. Not a human thinking. A human being."

As silly as that seems, it also seems very apt. I told read that as a human being, I must control my thoughts lest they control me. Now, think back to your day-to-day struggle. Are you at the mercy of what pops into your head? Or are you more deliberate with what you do, and little more conservative in letting those thoughts pop out into the open?

Right about now, I'd love to quote Ze Frank. But, if you aren't thinking, then where are those thoughts coming from?